you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
