I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Found your dick twin last night
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
