please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
