You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
