i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
it was like eating out sand paper
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
