That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
