Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
