She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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