When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
