i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
