so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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