We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
