But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Dick very happy bro
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
