He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize