HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
