hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
