we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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