I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
