everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
