put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
