i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
