@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
