You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
