every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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