my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
