I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Randomize
