I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
