maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
