Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Two words: nipple clamps
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