Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
