It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
