Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
