Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
