I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
