The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
