so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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