you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
