We tried having a conversation with our noses.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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