Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
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