i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize