And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
