i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize