So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
not ubering you a puppy
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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