i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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