This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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