i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
