It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
