Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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