i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
