So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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