He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
