Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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