Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
