Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
