I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
