Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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