i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
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