dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
