i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
