she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
