Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
