Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
