what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize