I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize