try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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