this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
no you cant smoke seaweed
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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