I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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