How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
