So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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