no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
