Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
