So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
